A month and a year in reflection...

It's almost the end of May and alot has happened in 1 month. I spent most of my time in NY with my mom. Madison had a chance to spend time with grandma & grandpa. And it was good to see my brother and sister-in-law. We celebrated Mother's day a week early but it's always nice to be with family. Today we had lunch with Madison's speech therapist at the soup factory. She's really been so awesome with Madison. It was nice to actually take a break away from home and actually get out. We're in the process of looking for a babysitter by referrals only and a daycare center for this Fall. This is really exciting for me because I haven't had a genuine break. And right now is about the time that Madison is ready for structural learning. I've truly appreciated being a mother. I mean this is what I longed for so long. Even when times are difficult, I always thank God for my adversities. As strange as that sounds, I believe there's always a purpose for it. Madison is learning to say a few words. She loves the alphabet song and hums the entire tune very well. For some reason she loves to sing E-F-G out of the entire alphabet. Just the other day she said H-I. When I say one, she says two. And just recently she learned to say 3. I'm so proud of her. And even though her birthday is on the first week of July, I am reminded that she's really an October baby. For the most part, she's caught up to her prematurity. She's a pro at saying...all done!, more, juice, please, thank you, hello, hi & bye, cracker, twinkle twinkle. There's probably more which I can't think of this moment. She's such a joyous baby and I feel that it only makes me work harder to be a better mom each day. She started walking at the end of March and now she confidently marches around the house. The only thing that's been difficult is she's always needy of my attention. If it weren't for her nap time right now, she would be screaming and crying by my side if I'm on the laptop. Probably because whenever I'm on my computer I'm focused. Her birthday is coming up soon so I've been brainstorming what we should do. I feel that these past 2 years have flown by so quickly. Where has the time gone? My bday is the 1st week of June. As each year passes, I think what have I accomplished and what my goals will be? All I can say right now is that I am so grateful to be a mother. And just before we took off for NY, we went to Jacob's memorial that the hospital invites us each year. I'm glad we were able to make it this year. There were many families who came to remember their lost little ones. I am reminded by how much I love Jacob even though we move on with our lives. But he is very much part of our family and I am thankful to be his mom too. He has strangely made me stronger & a better mom for Madison. Just to think Madison was 1 lb 11 ounces and now this happy, healthy toddler. I am so thankful! I had a chance to go down to NY for a new venture I'm working on right now. It was nice to catch up with Maria at the Macaron Cafe for a nice Parisian lunch in NYC. Please pray for her father as he is battling with cancer. And I had a chance to meet a wonderful editor from boston.com who will be moving to NY soon for her new job. I am thankful for my family, my friends and the new friends I've made this past year. I'm also thankful for the girls in my bible study prayer group which ended about 2 weeks ago. They have been very much my support group while I was living in the hospital for a year. Marguerite, Jenny, Wendy & Nam Hee please stay in touch! Marguerite it was nice having a dessert feast at Pastiche in Rhode Island last week. Praying for a smooth move to NY. While in NY my uppa baby g-luxe stroller we bought for Madison's baptism in Paris broke but I'm thankful that the company was able to give us a brand new stroller! This has been a tough year but I have counted each blessing. And even though there have been more hardships, my faith has only become more stronger. I am excited that I will finally be able to also take care of myself. This will be the 1st time that I will have a babysitter or even go to school. And I admit I'm a bit nervous. But I know it will be good for both of us.